The Merrill Family is the eleventh episode of Season 7 of the American Supernanny show.
Episode summary[]
While Marine Major Chris Merrill (35) is stationed overseas for a year in Afghanistan, mom Beckie (33) is fighting a battle on the home front with their four young children: Garrett and Elena (both 4), cousins adopted from Guatemala, and Eddie (6) and Lydia (4), who are siblings from Ghana.
Beckie tries to balance her desire for attachment with all the children with the firmness required to discipline them.
Recap[]
Submission reel[]
Jo arrives at Camp Pendleton, located in Oceanside, California, to helpthe Merrill Family. Chris, a Marine, was stationed in Afghanistan at the time of taping. Beckie, meanwhile, takes care of four young adopted children: Garrett and Elena (both 4 years old), are biological cousins from Guatemala, and Eddie (6 years old) and Lydia (4 years old) are biological siblings from Ghana. She explained the situations of both Guatemala and Ghana and how the children have been in very tough situations at a young age.
Garret is the charming chatterbox while Elena is the opinionated princess. However, they don’t act out as much as Eddie and Lydia.
While Garret and Elena have no problem with communication since they were adopted as babies, Lydia and Eddie came to the U.S. 3 months before and were struggling to adjust to their new home and speak English. They can act aggressively and angrily out of frustration from struggling with communication. Beckie was also worried that she let Lydia and Eddie get away with their misbehavior far too much because they had been adjusting to the states for 3 months.
Beckie didn't know where the balance was between strict parenting, love and positive praise. While Chris calls them on the phone sometimes, their communication is inconsistent and the entire family worries about his well-being. After the children talk to him, they cry in Beckie's arms. Beckie wishes that she had support with her husband.
Observation[]
Jo arrives for observation and greets Beckie before being introduced to Lydia, Elena, Garrett, and Eddie. Jo notices that the Ghanaian children looking away from her, which Beckie explains is the result of their culture: in Ghana, it is considered disrespectful for children to look at adults. Jo finds a picture of Chris, and Beckie explains how much he was missed. With little time to spare for herself, Beckie prepares a meal and compares herself to an octopus- she is simply overwhelmed with all the tasks. Shortly after, Lydia falls to the ground while sitting at the dinner table. Beckie immediately reaches over to comfort her and asks if the fall startled her.
Later that day, Garret and Elena go outside without permission. Beckie tries to wrangle them back by scream at them in a military-style fashion with limited success: the kids, on their plasma cars, made it all the way to the local playground. In an interesting turn of events, Beckie puts the cars in "toy jail," which was her moniker for confiscating the toys. Once Jo points out the irony of Beckie's discipline methods- when the children misbehave, their toys, not the kids themselves- are sent to timeout, both adults laugh at this ridiculousness.
Lydia decides to show her displeasure by throwing her toys around, and she is promptly placed into timeout. However, Beckie sits right next to her, and Elena joins them believing that the timeout was a "mommy and me" time. The latter instigates a fight with Lydia, and Beckie placates Elena by carrying her. Jo disapproves of Beckie's techniques, as they gave the kids mixed messages regarding discipline.
Once Jo talks to Beckie, the latter admits the reason behind her actions: she knew just how much the kids had been through and how much they missed Chris, so she tried to compensate by offering them unconditional love. As much as Jo empathized with her, she knew that this mixture of improper discipline, military-style yelling, and mixed messages would ultimately harm the children. At the end of the discussion, Beckie admits that she struggles to balance compassion and discipline. Beckie doesn't stop at confiding her struggles with discipline in Jo- she worries that she cannot stay connected with Chris instead of placing him "in a box in the closet." Beckie understands that she has to be both mom and dad to these kids.
Beckie's struggles continued into the bedtime routine. She jumped into a military-style attitude, yelling at the children. The entire process became quite chaotic: the children run around the house naked and were riled up once they had gotten their clothes on and teeth brushed, all while Beckie shouts orders at them. She also reveals that Eddie was severely afraid of the dark: he had witnessed numerous atrocities, and the monsters that most children were afraid of were very real to him. Jo knows that Beckie wants to comfort the children, but that doesn't mean that she should continuously let them sleep in her bed; she had a very interesting plan for the next day.
Parent meeting[]
Jo didn't see the correct parenting fulfillment. As they discuss Chris's deployment, Jo reminds Beckie to reinforce to the kids that Chris was still there. For bedtime, Eddie and Lydia need transitions, but Beckie gave mixed messages:she needs to tell the kids that they were safe and protected. Finally, Jo wants to see more positive reinforcement out of Beckie.
Teaching[]
First, Jo brings in a Reward Chart and House Rules, as she does for virtually every family she meets. To ensure that the kids practice safety whenever they go outside, she introduces a Stop/Go game: Beckie would yell "Stop!" and "Go!" to signal what she wants her children to perform. Those who failed to listen when she yelled "Stop!" would have to be kept close to her. Over time, she becomes more and more successful with the technique.
Back at home, Lydia begins to have a meltdown at the dinner table. For this situation, Jo wants Beckie to be more direct with Lydia. After unsuccessful reprimanding, Lydia was to be put in timeout. Beckie wanted to sit next to Lydia, but Jo was somewhat surprised by Beckie's actions. The latter explains that she didn't want to emotinally neglect her children, but Jo asserts that performing discipline in this manner was not neglect: the children knew that Beckie would still love them. With a newfound understanding of Jo's techniques, Beckie successfully carries out the timeout. Eventually, Lydia stays in her timeout and apologizes.
After dinner, Jo has a Skype conversation with Chris, who is choked up talking about the passion of having the adopted kids. Jo brought Beckie in first to converse with Chris, followed by the kids. The kids lit up when they saw each other, as did Chris. Afterwards, Jo brought Beckie back to have a conversation alone while Jo took care of the kids. Once the video call was over, both Beckie and Chris realized just how easy it could be to maintain communication with each other while the latter was stationed overseas.
Jo wants to reinforce that the kids need to be continuously praised. As such, she presents Beckie with four paper hearts and introduces a new part of the routine: every night, Beckie should write down and explain one good thing that each child did that day. However, once Beckie finishes writing down her thoughts, she yells at the kids in a monotone military-style voice to gather around her. Jo pulls her aside and reminds her to be excited: this exercise is not meant to be something to simply get over. Beckie quickly switches her tone and gives each kid a positive message, their heart, a hug, and kiss.
Finally, Jo and Beckie must tackle the bedtime challenge. For this family, Jo brings in a modified version of the Stay In Bed technique, since the kids in Ghana had witnessed deeply traumatizing events. Beckie would explain to the kids that they were safe (instead of previous episodes in which the parent would silently return the children to bed). Jo creates a wanted to teach Beckie how to make sure the kids were safe. Jo puts in a colourful string of car shaped lights for the room. Beckie sat down and explained that the house was a safe zone, and hope, for their sake, they don't get an earthquake or natural disaster any time soon. The kids felt safe and tucked in.
Jo placed wind chimes by the master bedroom. Elena cries "mom, I need you", but it was just her ploy for getting attention. Both girls were up making a ruckus but Beckie told the girls calmly to go to bed and they were out quickly. The children slept well. Jo gave Beckie a hug and left for a few days for Beckie to use the lessons she learned.
Parent Evaluation[]
Three days passed while Jo was gone. Jo came back and called Chris on Skype for the three-day review time.
Beckie did a good job putting Eddie and Lydia in time out. Eddie was playing up and Lydia locked her mom out of the house and refused to open it, so that’s why they were sent to timeout. It was interesting that a 4-year-old would know how to lock someone out of the house. Chris was happy and gave supportive words to Beckie.
As for nighttime, Beckie gave the kids the safety speech (that Jo taught them) and even though the girls tried to go to their mom's bed, she placed them back lightly and calmly. She didn't have many bed issues since.
Although Beckie is getting better at disciplining the children, she is really struggling to keep up with them and get them to listen to her on command. Jo explained that they had to reinforce their rules or else everything will fall apart. Chris noticed that some of the burdens were lifted even with just a few days of change. Chris thanks Jo as "Supernanny" which must still be weird for Jo to hear.
Reinforcement[]
Jo wanted to make sure that there was reinforcement. She played a game where the kids would step on the correct image when their mother would play a sound. Beckie tried to make sure there was eye contact. She played sounds and the game helped with vocabulary. Beckie says that she wanted to do the game regularly but unless there are new pictures and new sounds, the game will get a bit redundant.
There was one last surprise with Jo. So she got Chris to record a DVD for the kids. The family watched a DVD of Chris singing nursery songs for the kids. They had a video now whenever they were lonely.
Jo finally had to go and the kids smiled and hugged her. They all thank Jo, the kids calling her "Jojo." Beckie feels the positive vibes and Jo knows that she's on the right track.
Transcript[]
Trivia[]
- This is the only episode with the Stop and Go technique.
- This is the first family to have all adopted children. The second was The Collins Family (U.S. Season 8).
- Depending on your view, since Oceanside is in San Diego, California, this is the second episode to take place in San Diego. The first is The Mann Family.
Pop Culture[]
- In The Submission Reel, the kids were playing with the Hot Wheels cars and tracks.
Family members[]
| Person | Age (Then) | Age (Now) | Relation to Family |
|---|---|---|---|
| Beckie Merrill | 33 | 47 | Mother |
| Chris Merrill | 35 | 49 | Father |
| Eddie | 6 (born March 12, 2004) | 20 | Adopted Son/Brother to Lydia |
| Lydia | 4 (born August 31, 2005) | 19 | Adopted Daughter/Sister to Eddie |
| Garrett | 4 (born January 5, 2006) | 18 | Adopted Son/Cousin to Elena |
| Elena | 4 (born February 1, 2006) | 18 | Adopted Daughter/Cousin to Garrett |
Gallery[]
Behind The Scenes[]
- This episode was filmed in May-June 2010.
Events Post-Episode[]
- The family moved to Guam.
- Beckie became a teacher in Africa.
External Links[]
| Season 7 |
|---|
| The Atkinson Family • The Peterfreund Family • The Swift Family • The Young Family • The Van Acker Family • The Fernandez Family • The George Family • The Miller Family • The Colombo Family • The Potter Family • The Merrill Family • The DeMott Family • The Froebrich Family • The Federico Family • The Evans Family |