The Hallenbeck Family

Episode summary
Jo visits the Hallenbeck Family in Mesa, Arizona. Patricia (57) and Cliff (65) are parents who should be enjoying their golden years. But instead, their daughter Kristin (25) who has two young sons: Jordon (6) and Jaydon (4) is currently living at home with her parents.

Although Kristin has school, she doesn't do her work and when she gets home from school, instead of spending time with her family, she lazes on the couch, surfs the internet and text friends. Kristin's disrespect for her own parents has encouraged her two sons to be disrespectful. While Kristin is rude and openly criticizes and undermines her mother over things like what her sons eat and whether or not the children need to follow their parents' rules, Jordon and Jaydon rough house and have got the guts to talk disrespectfully to their grandparents.

Jo candidly admits she's horrified, disgusted and "gob smacked" by Kristin's selfishness and laziness and plans a serious wake-up call to this family. But is Jo too late to make a difference?

Observation
Jo arrives at the home and says hello to Pat, Cliff, Jordon, and Jaydon. Kristin is as work, and right away, it’s lunchtime. Jaydon screams and refuses to sit at the table. Jo noticed this was one grandma who had her hands full. She puts Jaydon into a timeout and says he can't eat his dinner until his 4 minutes were up. Jordon and Jaydon were fighting on the stairs. Jo got to see just how violent these boys can be to each other, and Jo told them to stop playing on the stairs as it was highly dangerous. Jo was concerned with these boys as they could possibly hurt themselves, and Jaydon was choking Jordon. When she asked Cliff and Pat about this, they felt that Kristin was to blame.

Kristin came home, said hello to Jo, and immediately went upstairs to work. Kristin was talking with Jo about her life, and was breaking down whilst talking. Jaydon asked for candy, and Kristin and her parent couldn’t agree whether Jordon could have it or not. Jordon calls Kristin an idiot, and is sent to his room, and several minutes are added. It’s later computer time, and the kids are with Cliff. Jordon is rude to Cliff by saying that Jaydon played the game all day. Kristin was texting friends, and Jo could not believe the disrespect to Cliff. Jo wants to know where the gratitude is. Jo thinks Kristin is lazy. Pat is on the floor, tidying up after the boys. Jordon didn’t want to help tidy up the planes.

Parent Meeting
Jo wants to talk about Kristin’s responsibility, and is gob smacked. Jo says Kristin walks around feeling like she doesn’t have to lift a finger or do anything, and pays no rent. Kristin is lucky that the kids are out on the street, having to do what 200,000 young mothers have to do everyday. Gratitude is something that Kristin should flush in the bathroom. Pat and Cliff have chosen to give up the second half of their life and put it on hold to raise Kristin’s two sons. Jo thinks it’s disgusting. Jo is shocked that Kristin is 25, and she carries on like she’s 12. Jo tells Kristin to “grow up”, because nobody else wants to tell her. Jo tells Kristin that Pat and Cliff are too scared to tell her the truth, in case Kristin walks away or blackmails them, that they won’t be able to see her kids as an empty threat. Pat agrees with Jo. Jo wants Kristin to own up and step up.

There’s no discipline when Kristin raises the boys. Kristin openly admitted that she was lazy when it came to following through. Kristin needs to teach the boys to be respectful, if she can’t teach them a consequence. Jo is appalled and disgusted to see two young children who think that it is okay to speak to their grandparents the way they spoke to them yesterday. The house is in turmoil. It’s breaking everybody up. Everybody is ready to do some hard work.

Teaching
Jo had sent the grandparents away for a few hours. When Jordon was having dinner, he swore and said "Quiet *******," and was placed on the Naughty Spot. He escaped 23 times. Whilst he was on the spot, he told Jaydon to say a bad word. He then said he hated him and called him a bad word. Jo then told Kristin to send Jordon to bed early. Jordon was not happy about it and he protested against the idea. He then started to throw toys around and trash his bedroom, and scream. He ends up getting his TV taken out of his room. He then spilled water on the floor, which was the breaking point for Kristin, and when she slipped, she shouted "JORDON!". Kristin then tells Jordon not to come out of his room, and that she was done. Jo pulled Kristin to the side. Kristin breaks down in tears and tries to let it out. When Kristin calmed down, she saw Jordon falling asleep in his bedroom.

The next day, Jo took Kristin to UMom, a homeless shelter to show her that her parents are able to afford more to meet her basic needs than the people of UMom, but Kristin did not see how this would help her; therefore, she thought it was a waste of time. Jo is absolutely enraged and disgusted by Kristin's careless, and ungrateful attitude. After going around the homeless shelter after she persistently texts on her phone and doesn't pay attention to the folks in charge of the shelter, Jo calls Kristin "spoiled" and feels she has had it too good for too long.

DVD Meeting
Pat notices a big rug in the house because there’s a big spot on it. Pat wonders if Kristin’s gonna throw it away or if she folded it up, and she set it up on the counter. Jaydon squeals and Kristin tells him to stop, while Pat goes off duty. Kristin is concerned whether Cliff recorded over Kristin’s “thing”, and swears at Cliff and in front of the kids, and says “you should have fricking checked!”. Jo wonders where the breakdown in the communication is, and is appalled by the lack of respect.

It’s breakfast time, and Kristin is doing a crossword, and Jordon is curious to know, whilst Jaydon is eating Weetabix. The boys are playing bat and ball, and want Kristin to hit the ball with them, but she didn’t want to and instead watched. It’s lunchtime and Pat tells Jordon and Jaydon to wash their hands. They were playing with toy blocks, and she said they can finish after dinner, but Jordon says “Mommy doesn’t care!”, but Pat cared. Pat thought that “Kristin cares about Kristin first”. Cliff thought Kristin loved her kids, but they don’t come first. Jo says they are talking about the truth, and it’s hitting real nerves and feelings and they’ve been here before, and time has moved on.

At the "Keep or sell" scene, Kristin said that she was going through the toys and the ones the boys want to keep or sell for the garage sale, because they may be moving. She said that she was only moving with the kids. It was very clear to Jo where the dark cloud was hanging over the room. They may move to Colorado because her boyfriend lives in Colorado and is working there. She will move in with him. He is her sons' dad. Cliff and Pat will do the things that Kristin is capable of doing. Cliff is feeling that Kristin is a little reluctant about moving so far away. They want to work on Kristin leaving.

Transcript

 * The Hallenbeck Family/Transcript

People

 * Family Members
 * Other People
 * Candace Sherwood (1965-2016)

Events Post-Episode
Candace Lynn Sherwood passed away on August 22, 2016 as a result of cardiac failure.

Behind The Scenes
This was filmed in July 2009.